We were created for relationships.
If you look at the very beginning of the human story in the Bible, a beautiful pattern emerges. After creating the earth, the stars, the sun, the moon, the trees, and the animals, God observed that something—or rather, someone—was still missing. God, who exists in perfect fellowship within the Trinity, desired fellowship with His creation. He loves relationship.
So, He said, "Let us make man in our own image, after our own likeness..." (Genesis 1:26). Humanity was born from a divine desire for connection. The Bible even records that God would come down in the cool of the day to walk and talk with Adam in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:8). This was the original, perfect fellowship.
The First "Alone"
With the creation of Adam, God’s desire for fellowship with man was fulfilled. But then, God made another profound observation: "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18).
Consider Adam’s state for a moment:
· He was single—but alone.
· He was unique—but alone.
· He was complete and whole in his being—but alone.
Adam lacked nothing in his purpose or personhood, yet he lacked a fundamental human need: a companion. This tells us something crucial about our design. We are built for “with.” We are hardwired for partnership, for sharing life, for being seen and known by another.
Marriage: A Cure, Not a Substitute
This divine observation leads us to a critical truth about marriage, which is often misunderstood in our culture. Marriage is not merely a substitute for singleness; it is God’s prescribed cure for human loneliness.
Singleness is a valid, whole, and purposeful season or calling. But loneliness—the deep, existential ache of isolation—is a condition that God Himself declared "not good." Marriage, in its ideal form, is the primary earthly institution God designed to provide intimate companionship, mutual support, and a reflection of His covenantal love.
This principle extends beyond marriage, however. It speaks to God’s heart for placing the solitary in community. The Psalmist declares:
"God sets the solitary in families; he brings out those who are bound with chains; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land" (Psalm 68:6).
God’s plan is to integrate the lonely into families—both biological and spiritual. He builds communities, churches, and friendships to break the chains of isolation.
The Link to Ineffective Communication
So, what does this have to do with the common problem of ineffective communication in our relationships?
Everything.
When we forget that we are fundamentally relational beings designed for connection, communication devolves into a mere exchange of data or, worse, a battlefield. We communicate to win arguments, to defend ourselves, or to unload our thoughts, rather than to connect, understand, and build fellowship.
Ineffective communication often stems from:
1. Self-Centeredness: Forgetting the other person is a "companion" meant for mutual fellowship, not an opponent.
2. Isolation: When we feel lonely or disconnected within a relationship, we build walls, not bridges, with our words.
3. Lost Purpose: We forget that our conversations are meant to reflect the gracious, patient, and loving dialogue God desires to have with us.
Living in the Design
Understanding that we are created by a relational God for relationships changes everything. It means:
· Our conversations are sacred. They are the primary tool for building the fellowship we were made for.
· Loneliness is a signal, not a final sentence. It points us to seek healthy connection—with God, with a spouse, with a family, with a faith community.
· Marriage is a profound gift, a special covenant designed to be the most intimate answer to the "alone" problem, calling us to selfless communication and partnership.
Today, let’s check our hearts and our words. Are we communicating to connect, or just to be heard? Are we seeking to build fellowship, or just to prove a point? Remember, from the very beginning, we were wired for "with." Let your communication be the bridge that honors that beautiful, divine design.
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