Family Finance

It is important to understand the place of money in marriage to avoid tension.

For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence...
Ecclesiastes 7:12

Money is simply a medium of exchange. It is required to live comfortably on the earth. It is a defence, because with it you are not embarrassed.

However, handling finances is a very sensitive area for couples. It is therefore crucial to say a few things about family finances here.

To the men: Right from the time God blessed Adam with a wife, he has been the head of the family. This also placed upon him the responsibility of providing for his household (1 Tim. 5:8).

So, by God's arrangement, the husband is to provide for his family. He is the one who must ensure there is food for members of his family. He must ensure his family members are well taken care of especially his immediate family members (Songs Of.Solomon 1:6) Therefore, the man must labour with his hands, especially as a married man; you cannot afford to be lazy. Your hands must be working hands. There is dignity in labour

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

God is serious about the need for men to rise up to their God-given roles, even in this day and age where women also work to help make ends meet. A man who is too slothful to find gainful employment should not eat.

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
2 Thessalonians 3:10

The man is responsible for catering for his wife and children. If he fails in this duty, he is a failure indeed! It is a curse for the wife to take on this responsibility.

To the women: Everything she has belongs to her husband, even her income. If she is employed outside the home, she must submit all to him. This does not mean that she may not have her own separate account if they both agree to this. But by divine order, this account also belongs to him.

There should be no "his" and "hers" in family finance. Both should have access to each other's money. Where there's a joint account, no one should spend money without informing the other. At an agreed date, both partners can come together to plan the family budget, mapping out how much should be spent on food, children and each other, as well as paying electricity bills, etc. It is refusing to work together as a team that places families under tension.

Trust is the key word in family finance. Husband and wife must trust each other enough to put their money together and be prudent in spending it. Note that accountability helps boost trust. Where no one wants to be accountable to the other, there will be no progress financially. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is trustworthy.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her... Verse 11

You can earn each other's trust, causing your hearts to be perfectly at rest. A man cannot win his wife's trust if he selfishly spends all the money on new clothes and the likes on himself. His wife might also begin to sneak out money from the feeding money to buy her personal things.

A good place to start in building up trust in one another is by being open about your monthly income. If you lie about it, you are only opening the way for the enemy.

A man shouldn't shift the responsibility of handling family finances to the woman alone. He may assign a portion of it to her, but should not abandon his responsibility and then turn around to blame her half way through the month, if the money is not sufficient.

Giving

Love is...never...selfish...
1 Corinthians 13:5 (TLB)

God so loved the world, He gave. He demonstrated His love for man by taking the initiative and giving us His Son, even when no man understood what He was doing and could not say, "Thank you". It was in His selfless giving that the world was won. If man and wife will learn to prefer each other in love, consider and think of ways to bless the other, family life will be so much sweeter.

God is a giving God. Giving is godlike. If we claim to be God's children you must imitate Him in all things.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
1 John 4:7

Giving gifts to one another spices up the marriage. You can take the initiative to surprise your partner with thoughtful little gifts. If it did wonders for you during your courtship days, it will do you no harm to carry the habit over into marriage.

Giving To God

The Bible declares that two is better than one. You can "better" your giving to the Lord by giving as a family, thus making better your receiving (Luke 6:38). You must encourage each other to sow seeds. Though hard times have come upon the earth, you will be exempted as you purpose to keep sowing into the Kingdom.

As a family, ensure your tithe is paid, either separately as husband, wife and children or together as a family. Give offerings according to your size also. Don't rob God in your offerings. Ensure that your children also give offerings.

It is wisdom to sow to the kingdom even when you need every penny. There is a portion to eat and a portion to sow (Prov. 11:24).

Giving To The Poor

You must be generous to the poor and underprivileged, those who do not have as much as you have. God loves the merciful and releases blessings upon him.

He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse.
Proverbs 28:27

When you reach out to bless the poor, God ensures that you do not lack. Anyone who pretends not to know those who are in need is selfish and will incur a curse upon himself.

Cornelius was a man given to almsgiving, and one day God visited him and blessed him with salvation. You too can register in God's book of remembrance by being open and generous. Women can emulate the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Giving To Men Of God

As couples, you must provoke each other to do right things. Sowing to the men of God placed over us is right and provokes great blessings from the Lord. God is glorified when you handle your money this way.

Money is actually limited in value except it is placed in the hands of God. It has wings. If you don't send it on errand, someday it will take up wings and fly away by itself.

"Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven."
Proverbs 23:5

Money is a god, it seeks to be worshipped. That is why Matthew 6:24 says you cannot serve God and mammon. "Mammon" means money. It is a good servant but a terrible master; don't allow the absence of it determine the atmosphere of your home. There are some people once they are angry you know there is no money in their pocket. Don't let it destroy the peace and joy in your home.

Some serve money and give it the place that only God should occupy in their lives. But when you dispose of your money in the above listed ways, you are serving God with it, and is an evidence of your love for Him and your liberality. Money then cannot be your god.

However, you worship money when you clutch on to it, refusing to disperse it, and gathering it for selfish purposes. Those who run after money are running after sorrow. My husband often says, "If you run after money you will mourn." So, run after God, and money will run after you. Whatever comes your way financially, learn to put God first, separating the first fruits of harvest unto Him.

Giving To Parents

Many marriages are in a financial mess because they fail in their covenant responsibilities to their parents

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ephesians 6:1-3

We have an undeniable responsibility towards our parents. It is your duty to honour your parents according to how God has blessed you. You can't have parents who don't have food to eat and you are wasting food in your house. That is irresponsibility. You must honour your parents, if life must be well with you.