Palace of Creativity Global Ministries –
a youth ministry powered by the
Center for Creative
Youth International (CCYI)Tips for Building Successful
Marriages that Last
Are you thinking about getting married? Or, are you already
married? You can build a successful marriage that lasts if you are willing to
contribute the time and effort needed to realize that goal.
I know from experience that sustaining a good and successful
marriage will take work. I’ll share with you some of my thoughts on building
successful marriages that last.
Marriage: Its meaning and significance
Marriage from an authentic point of view, is a legal contract,
entered into by a man and woman (in a preponderance of marriages) to live
together as husband and wife.
Marriage has a comprehensive meaning and significance for many who
believe that two persons are spiritually and legally joined together in holy
matrimony before their Creator and in the presence of witnesses.
Participating in the marriage ceremony may well be the easiest
part of being married for many couples. Marriage presents a challenge as well
as an opportunity to experience a unique and special relationship for any man
and woman willing to live together in a committed, "day-in, day-out"
relationship.
The value of premarital
Premarital counselling is highly recommended and need not be a
"one-time" procedure. Opportunities for building a successful
marriage increase when couples can discuss and arrive at a mutually satisfying
understanding on the following areas of married life:
·
Spiritual and
religious beliefs and practices.
·
Sex, sexual
attitudes and desires.
·
Money (its
importance, and how you will make purchases and investment decisions).
·
Health practices
(attitudes and expectations on fitness, personal hygiene, etc.).
·
Household
management (roles and responsibilities)
·
Children (child
rearing and discipline of children).
·
Sports,
entertainment, vacation, recreation activities.
·
In-laws and
relatives visitation, social obligations and other areas of interest.
It is essential to know about each prospective mate’s family
background, for we are who we are to a great extent because of the experiences
we had within the environment and circumstances of our particular family units.
It is true: you don’t just marry that person, but also their family upbringing.
Be aware of that!
What does "commitment" to marriage mean?
There are good and successful marriages, but there are no perfect
marriages. Every lasting and successful marriage includes an unconditional
commitment to an imperfect person. Expecting your mate to be everything to you
is unrealistic and unwise. In today’s era of quick separations and divorces at
the first sign of disagreement or trouble, it is important to ask yourself what
your commitment to being married is.
The commitment to being married means that the couple has said to
each other that "our marriage is not taken lightly or irresponsibly."
Marriage has to begin on the foundation of love, honour respect and a genuine
mutual attraction for each other.
·
Spiritual
compatibility.
·
Character
compatibility.
·
Ability to
communicate with each other (learn to listen to your partner and respond with
clear, specific, non-judging and non-vindictive dialogue.
·
Mutual attraction
for each other.
Empowerment Points
· Individuals who
bring to the marriage a strong value system embracing the qualities of
openness, honesty, integrity, trust, respect, love, forgiveness, understanding,
and loyalty contribute greatly to the success of the marriage and a good
relationship.
· A marriage in
which two people have conflicting expectations and uncompromising demands has a
likely chance to not succeed.
·
Premarital counselling is extremely valuable and highly recommended.
·
Resolve conflict
in a constructive and beneficial manner. This includes focusing on the concerns
of both individuals and finding options and ways that both win or gain. In
almost every conflict someone does not feel loved, appreciated, respected,
listened to, understood, or acknowledged.
· Marriage involves
giving and taking; it means that one partner does not always win, while the
other partner seldom wins. That is no longer negotiation; it is domination.
· The longevity of
the marriage relationship is strengthened when the husband and wife allow each
other time and space for themselves.
· above all else,
have faith; Marriage can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience. Your marriage can and will be successful if you are willing to put in the effort!
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