Boundaries: understanding and respecting it Pt 2 by Atilade Faith.
Challenges faced when setting boundaries contd.
Another common mistake is expecting your friends to read your mind. It's important to be clear and specific about your boundaries, instead of expecting others to just know what you need. Another mistake is expecting your friends to always agree with you. It's normal to have different opinions, and that's okay! The key is to respect each other's differences.
Another challenge is worrying about how the other person will react. Try to stay focused on your own needs, rather than worrying about the other person's reaction. Finally, remember that setting boundaries is a process, and it may take some time to get it right.
Boundaries in the workplace.
It's just as important to set boundaries at work as it is in your personal life. For example, you might need to set boundaries around your work hours, your workload, or your relationships with co-workers. It's important to communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully, just like in any other relationship. You might want to set a boundary around when you're available to respond to emails or phone calls. You could say something like, "I'm happy to respond to emails and phone calls during business hours, but I won't be available outside of those hours."
Let's talk about setting boundaries around your workload. You might need to set a boundary around how much work you're willing to take on. This might look like saying "no" to extra projects or setting limits on how much overtime you're willing to work. This boundary respects your own needs for work-life balance, while still being respectful of others.
The difference between setting boundaries and being defensive, control, and ultimatums.
The difference between setting boundaries and being defensive. A lot of people confuse these two things. Setting boundaries is about being clear and firm about your needs, without attacking or blaming the other person. Being defensive is about trying to protect yourself from the other person's feelings, usually by blaming or attacking them. It's really important to understand the difference between these two things.
The difference between boundaries and ultimatums. Boundaries are about communicating your own needs and limits. Ultimatums are about telling the other person what they have to do. Boundaries are healthy and necessary for good relationships. Ultimatums are usually manipulative and harmful. They don't allow for compromise or collaboration.
Don't confuse boundaries with control. Boundaries are about taking care of yourself, not about controlling others. Controlling others is not healthy or productive. When you set boundaries, you're not trying to control the other person, you're simply stating your own needs. And finally, don't let fear hold you back from setting boundaries. It's natural to feel afraid of rejection or conflict, but it's important to push through that fear to take care of yourself.
In conclusion, Boundaries are an important part of any healthy relationship. By setting boundaries, you're taking care of yourself and showing respect for the other person. It takes time and practice to set boundaries effectively, but it's worth the effort. Remember to be clear, respectful, and flexible, and to communicate openly and honestly. Remember to be kind to yourself on this journey.
It's not about being selfish or confrontational, but rather about being clear, respectful, and assertive. Remember, it's not just about protecting yourself, but also about protecting your relationships and your well-being. And you're worth the effort. You're enough, just the way you are.
With these strategies, you'll be on your way to building healthy, fulfilling friendships.
Respect people's boundaries!
Boundaries: understanding and respecting it, Pt 1 by Atilade Faith.
Boundaries are so important in relationships, whether they're friendships, romantic relationships, or any other type of relationship. Without boundaries, it can be easy to get taken advantage of or to feel resentful and used. Boundaries help to set clear expectations and limits, so that everyone involved knows what's okay and what's not okay. They also help to protect our own needs and wants, so that we don't get overwhelmed or burned out.
The importance of boundaries in relationships cannot be amplified. Boundaries provide structure and order, creating a sense of safety and trust. Without boundaries, relationships can become chaotic and unpredictable, leading to feelings of frustration and resentment. Boundaries help to define the limits of a relationship, allowing each person to know what is expected of them and what is acceptable within the relationship. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or even spiritual.
When boundaries are respected, it allows each person to feel safe and secure in the relationship. It also allows each person to have a sense of autonomy and independence, while still being connected to the other person. Boundaries help to prevent codependency and other unhealthy dynamics from developing in the relationship. They also allow for healthy communication and conflict resolution, as each person knows what is and is not acceptable.
One of the most important benefits of boundaries is that they allow for healthy self-care. When each person knows their limits and can communicate those limits clearly, it allows them to take care of themselves emotionally, physically, and mentally. This leads to greater self-confidence and self-respect. Without boundaries, it's easy to feel like we're constantly being pulled in different directions, which can lead to burnout and exhaustion.
Boundaries allow us to create a sense of balance and peace in our lives.
One thing to understand about boundaries is that they can be flexible and adaptable. They should be based on mutual respect and understanding, not on control or manipulation. Boundaries should also be clear and consistent so that everyone involved knows what is and is not acceptable. It's also important to note that boundaries can change over time, as the relationship evolves and as people grow and change. Boundaries are not static, but rather a dynamic part of any healthy relationship.
Setting boundaries.
The first step is to identify your own needs and limits. This involves self-reflection and self-awareness. Once you know your limits, you can communicate them clearly and respectfully to the other person. Remember to use "I" statements, rather than blaming the other person. For example, instead of saying "You always make me feel bad about myself", try saying "I feel bad about myself when you say that".
The next step is to listen to the other person's response. Try to stay open-minded and non-defensive. If the other person is having trouble understanding your boundaries, try to explain them differently or provide examples. It's also important to respect the other person's boundaries, even if you don't agree with them. Boundaries are not about winning or losing, but rather about mutual respect and understanding.
Healthily setting boundaries.
First, it's important to be clear and specific about what you need. Vague boundaries are not effective. Next, it's important to be respectful and non-judgmental. No one likes to be criticised or shamed, so this is important. Finally, make sure your boundaries are reasonable and fair. No one should have to sacrifice their own needs to meet your boundaries.
What to do if the other person doesn't respect your boundaries? It's normal to feel angry, hurt, or disappointed. When this happens, it's important to remember that their behaviour is not a reflection of you. You can't control their actions, but you can control your reactions. It's also important to be willing to walk away from a relationship if the other person is unwilling to respect your boundaries. It's not easy, but sometimes it's necessary for your well-being. These are also signs to watch out for when looking for a partner or friend, because why do you want to get with someone who does not respect you?
The benefit of setting boundaries is that it can help to create a more honest and open relationship. When both people know what is and is not acceptable, they can be more authentic with each other. Boundaries can also lead to a greater sense of trust and security in the relationship. Also, setting boundaries can improve your relationship with yourself. It can increase your self-respect and self-esteem.
One of the most important things to remember about boundaries is that they are not about controlling the other person. They are about taking control of your own life and choices. Remember, you can't control how the other person reacts to your boundaries. But you can control how you react to them. Setting boundaries is not about changing the other person. It's about changing your behaviour and reactions. You can't control how the other person behaves, but you can control how you react to them. This is what's called "emotional self-regulation". It's a really powerful tool for improving relationships. It's just saying I don't want to react to a situation this way and then setting a rule that makes you not react in a bad way. I hope you get it.
I think it's one of the most important things we can learn about ourselves and our relationships. The next important point is that it's okay to say "no". It's necessary for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Saying "no" is not selfish, it's a sign of self-respect. It's okay to stand up for your needs, even if it makes the other person unhappy. Some people think that saying "no" is rude, but that's not true. It's a sign of maturity and respect for yourself and the other person. It's more rude to go along with something you don't want to do, just to please the other person.
Some challenges faced when setting boundaries.
One challenge is feeling guilty or selfish for setting boundaries. Remember that boundaries are not selfish, but rather a way of taking care of yourself and your needs.
Another reason people have trouble with boundaries is because they don't want to "rock the boat" or cause conflict. It's important to remember that setting boundaries is not the same as causing conflict. Setting boundaries can prevent conflict in the long run.
Another mistake people make when setting boundaries is being too rigid. This can backfire and cause more conflict. Instead, it's important to be flexible and open to compromise. No one is perfect, so it's not realistic to expect others to always respect your boundaries perfectly. The key is to communicate clearly and respectfully and to give others the benefit of the doubt.
To be continued...
Arise, Shine for life and light has come by Kay Daniels
AWESOME NIMBERS FOR NIGERIA AT 63
In the holy scriptures, the meaning of the number 9 signifies the divine completeness of the incarnation and death of our Messiah, Jesus Christ.
The Lord died on the cross at Mt. Calvary on the 9th hour of the day during His crucifixion.
Jesus Christ died in fulfillment of the prophecy about the arrival of the Messiah.
Nigeria at 63, 6+3 = 9
On October 1, 1960, 1+1+0+1+9+6+0=18
1+8=9
Today October 1, 2023, 1+1+0+2+0+2+3=9
Awesome numbers for nation in the very center of God's plans.
Nigeria would surely start to reproduce with grace. Welcome to your fruitfulness season Nigeria and Nigerians.
Happy 63rd anniversary Nigeria.
Glory to Jesus.
Courtesy
On October 1, 1960, 1+1+0+1+9+6+0=18
1+8=9
Today October 1, 2023, 1+1+0+2+0+2+3=9
Awesome numbers for nation in the very center of God's plans.
Nigeria would surely start to reproduce with grace. Welcome to your fruitfulness season Nigeria and Nigerians.
Happy 63rd anniversary Nigeria.
Glory to Jesus.
Courtesy
CCYI GLOBAL OUTREACHES.
©2023
DEAR NIGERIA, OUR TIME IS NOW!!!
ALL POWER AND AUTHORITY ON EARTH HAS BEEN GIVEN TO THE REDEEMED
Darkness moved on the face of the deep.
Ephesians 6:12 - We wrestle not against flesh and blood.
Hierarchy of realms of darkness in the world.
* Principalities
* Powers
* Rulers of the darkness of this world
* Spiritual wickedness in high places.
Ephesians 1:19 - 23
Jesus and by extension, we who believe possess exceeding great power that is over and above that of the realms of darkness in the world.
This is a repositioning that places man through Jesus Christ far above all principalities, powers, might and dominion. And all this realm of darkness has been position under our feet.
All things including the realms of darkness has been repositioned under our feet through Jesus Christ.
On the earth, we are the big deal through Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 2:1-6, Like 4:6
Authority was transfered by Adam to Satan and not to principalities or demons. They cannot operate outside of Satan's command.
Jude 1-1-9
On earth, Satan (formally Lucifer) had authority on earth, unlike when he was in heaven. So Michael rebuked him in the name of the lord.
On the earth, the name of the lord is the authority that rules the earth. That is the authority that can confront Satan and invariably deal with his demons and principalities.
They work with fear that attempts to neautralise your faith when you give in to their fear.
Because of your new location as a result of redemption, Satan, his principalities, powers might and dominion cannot locate you in your new placement. You are far above their realm.
When evil men plan to join you and partake of the blessing, God would dry up the brook and relocate you to a place that would not attract their attention.
1 Kings 17:8-15
The people God is sending the blessed is for their sustainable and refinement.
They shall fall before you that are hunting for your soul.
What God says only demands that you believe. All the work you need to do is believe.
When it is God, His word only demand faith or absolute belief.
When it comes to receiving the blessing, all it demands is your obedience.
The woman went for two sticks in vs 12, also the cross of Jesus is also two sticks. All the matters is how the sticks are arranged.
It can either be made a plus, cross or triangle etc.
The scriptures must be put in their writeful place. Until the stick is arranged well, there would be no fire.
It is not in the number of scriptures, rather it is in the arrangement of the scriptures. Elijah repaired or arranged the sticks to attract fire from heaven.
Everything Satan took from you, he has replaced and put you in a proper place.
Moses could only see the back of God but with salvation, we the redeemed can now see God face to face through the redemptive blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross.
Wordspired by
Rev Chris Okotie
Household of God Church
PROPHETIC FOCUS FOR OCTOBER 2023: THE OPEN BOOK: Key to Unlocking limitless Possibilities by Kay J-Daniels
The tenth shall be a month of the revealed word. Everything that might have been hidden by darkness shall be unravelled by light.
The hand of faith shall take from darkness whatever it is that might have been kept hidden.
It shall be a month of the opening of the book. A month of understanding and faith.
A month of the Spoken and the written word unveiled. When Jesus opened the book and found what was written about him, his destiny echoed from heaven.
when the ark rested on the mountain, the waters that covered the glory of the earth began to decrease until the 1st of October - the tenth month. Genesis 8:5.
You might have been forgotten, but the hand of God is singling you out for remembrance this month.
Welcome to October our month of
THE OPEN BOOK: Key to unlocking limitless Possibilities.
Genesis 8:5, Luke 4:18-21. Get set for awesome encounters with the destiny moulding God. Jesus is King of Kings!
Managing conflicts in friendships by Atilade Faith.
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, including friendships. Conflict means to be at odds or to disagree but with the right strategies for tackling conflicts, it can make your friendships stronger and more meaningful.
There are two main types: task conflict and relationship conflict. Task conflict happens when there's a disagreement about a specific task or issue, like how to plan a party or what movie to watch. Relationship conflict happens when there's a disagreement about the relationship itself, like how much time to spend together or how to deal with differences in values or opinions.
How to handle these different types of conflict. For task conflict, the best approach is to focus on the issue at hand and try to find a solution that works for everyone. For example, if you're planning a party and disagree about the date, you could try to find a date that works for everyone's schedules. For relationship conflict, it's important to focus on understanding and empathizing with the other person's perspective. This can help you work through the conflict and strengthen the friendship.
Alright, let's talk about specific strategies for dealing with task and relationship conflict. One strategy is "interest-based negotiation". This involves identifying the underlying interests of each person involved in the conflict and trying to find a solution that meets those interests. For example, if you and a friend are having a conflict about what movie to watch, you could try to find a movie that meets both of your interests, like a comedy for you and an action movie for your friend.
Another strategy is called "separating people from the problem". This involves trying to separate the issue from the people involved, and focusing on the issue itself. This can help prevent emotions from getting in the way of resolving the conflict. An example of this would be saying something like, "Let's focus on finding a solution to this problem, and not worry about who's right or wrong."
The next strategy is called "focusing on the interests, not the positions". This strategy is similar to the previous one, but it focuses on finding solutions that meet the underlying interests of everyone involved, rather than just trying to find a compromise. So, instead of focusing on a specific movie, you could try to find a solution that meets the underlying interests of both you and your friend, like finding a movie that's both funny and action-packed. This can be difficult but not doable.
Another strategy is called "inventing options for mutual gain". This strategy involves brainstorming a range of possible solutions that would be beneficial for everyone involved. So, instead of just trying to choose a movie, you could come up with other ideas, like watching the movie at home instead of the theatre or watching the movie in two parts on different days.
Deep listening as a conflict resolution strategy. This involves listening to what your friend is saying, without judgment or defensiveness. It's about trying to understand their point of view and empathizing with their perspective. It can be challenging, but very effective in resolving conflict.
Another strategy is "validating" your friend's feelings. This involves acknowledging and accepting their feelings, even if you don't agree with them. It's about showing them that their feelings are valid and that you care about how they're feeling. This can help to solve conflict and bring you closer together.
Acknowledging the other person's viewpoint. This is similar to validating a person's feelings. It involves recognizing and respecting the other person's perspective, even if you don't share it. It can be a powerful way to resolve conflict because it shows that you're trying to understand their point of view.
Another strategy is all about being respectful. This involves treating the other person with respect, even when you're in conflict. It means not interrupting, raising your voice, or using disrespectful language. It's about showing them that you value and respect them as a person, even if you disagree with them.
Another strategy is giving space. This is when you allow the other person to express their feelings without immediately reacting. It's about letting them finish what they're saying, without interrupting or trying to change the subject. The idea is to give them time and space to express themselves.
Okay, let's talk about "active listening". This is a technique that involves giving the other person your full attention, without being distracted. It means maintaining eye contact, using body language that shows you're listening, and not interrupting them. It's about really focusing on what they're saying, so you can understand their perspective.
Another is seeking common ground". This is about trying to find something you both agree on, even if you don't agree on everything. It's about focusing on what you have in common, rather than your differences. It can be a powerful way to reduce conflict and find a way to move forward.
Another strategy is de-escalation. It's a strategy that involves reducing the intensity of a conflict, to make it easier to resolve. Okay, here's how de-escalation works. It starts with taking a step back and calming things down. This could mean taking a break from the conversation, taking some deep breaths, or focusing on calming your body language. Once things have calmed down, you can try to understand the other person's perspective and work on resolving the conflict.
Reframing as a strategy for resolving conflicts involves looking at the situation from a different perspective, to try to find a more positive way of viewing it. For example, instead of thinking of the conflict as a problem, you could reframe it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
It might be easier to understand with an example. So let's imagine that you and your friend have a conflict about what movie to watch. Instead of thinking of the conflict as a problem that needs to be solved, you could reframe it as an opportunity to learn more about your friend's preferences, or to try something new. This type of reframing can help you to shift your focus away from the conflict itself, and towards more positive outcomes.
Conflict is a normal part of life, and it can be a chance to learn and grow. By healthily resolving conflict, you can strengthen your friendships and become a better friend.
But don't forget that the most important thing is to maintain kindness and respect, both for yourself and for others. By addressing conflict with compassion and understanding, you can make your friendships even stronger.
The role of empathy on friendship by Atilade Faith.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, empathy is identification with or understanding the thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another person.
Empathy is a key factor in any healthy friendship. It involves understanding and relating to another person's feelings and experiences. Empathy allows you to connect with others on a deeper level and creates a foundation of trust and understanding. Without empathy, friendships can feel trivial and difficult to maintain.
Empathy helps you feel connected to others. It creates a sense of shared experiences and understanding. This makes friendships more meaningful and fulfilling. Empathy also helps you build trust with others. When you feel that someone understands you and cares about your experiences, you're more likely to open up and share your thoughts and feelings. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful friendships.
Empathy helps you resolve conflicts in friendships. When there's a disagreement or misunderstanding, empathy allows you to see the other person's perspective and find a way to move forward. It helps you understand why the other person feels the way they do and find a way to resolve the conflict constructively. Without empathy, conflicts can escalate and damage friendships.
Another way that empathy benefits friendships is by making you feel supported and cared for. When you know that your friends understand and care about you, it can make you feel valued and appreciated and even want to open up to them. This can boost your self-esteem and make you feel more connected to your friends.
Empathy helps you understand yourself better. When you practice empathy with others, you also learn to apply it to yourself. This can help you understand your feelings and needs. It can also make you more compassionate towards yourself and help you build self-acceptance. There's no point being hard on yourself.
There's the idea that too much empathy can lead to emotional burnout and too little empathy can make a friendship feel distant. I don't think there's the right type or amount of empathy to offer in friendships. It all boils down to understanding each other, your dynamics and what works with each other.
In conclusion, empathy is a complex and nuanced topic. There's no single answer about how much empathy is "right" in friendships, but there are some factors to consider. It might depend on the individual, the type of friendship, and the specific situation. One thing is clear though empathy is an important part of healthy, fulfilling friendships!
Be empathetic!
THE POSSIBILITY MENTALITY by Phoebe
Palace of Creativity
THE POSSIBILITY MENTALITY
"Jesus looked hard at them and said 'No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." Matthew 19:26 MSG
The Possibility mentality is a Christ-like mentality, it's a God thing not a man thing because with man it is always impossible.
With man, the Israelites would have never walked on dry land through the Red sea.
Wait, have you ever read what scripture said there properly? They walked in the middle of a sea on DRY GROUND! Whattt?.
I can imagine how they had a free aquarium-like tour right there in the middle of the sea but man can never do this.
Before verse 26 of Matthew, the 19th chapter; Jesus said 'it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle...hold up, how is that possible? Well, I just asked that question because I am man.
For a while, you have wondered how that dream you had would ever happen in reality and definitely because of your Adamic (human) nature you have disposed those dreams.
I present to you...drum rolls please, the GOD with whom all things are possible. As a man, you will always be limited and inadequate but as long as God is in the equation; be rest assured, it's always possible.
Yes it's possible to have a 360° turnaround in your life in seconds; it is possible to be a servant yesterday and become a master tomorrow and of course it's possible for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle which brings me back to the Scripture I started with, if you think you can pull it off yourself, there's no chance.
God would always, I mean always come through for you as long as you trust Him.
"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers - Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season" Jeremiah 17:7-8 MSG
All things are possible with God and having a possibility mentality is possible as well.
Never limit God, He's able!
Say to yourself next time there's a mountain before you, IT IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD!
Then rejoice
You should read that again, it's an advice.
Repetition is key to mastery.
Awesome!!!
WORDSPIRATION MOMENT OF IMPACT: YOUR ASSIGNMENT Day 1 by Kay J-Daniels
Kindly Comment and share this if it blesses you.
Stay blessed.
ALTARS IN THE NEW DISPENSATION by Kay Daniels
ALTARS IN THE NEW DISPENSATION
Altars are the kingdom of heaven active spots on the face of
the earth.
They are spots on the earth where the presence of God is
dominant or very active.
Altars are places of encounters.
It is however not a genuine altar in the new dispensation if
it does not reverence Jesus, the Christ.
There are two primary levels to Altars.
All altars you raise in the name of Jesus would bring you to the place of encounters. You either encounter power or wisdom or both.
Altars are God's appointed place of appearance.
If you need Gods power, rare an altar of power via prayer, fasting and giving.
The truth is that fasting gives value to prayer and giving gives value to fasting. These combinations are what results in power altars.
This is where you alter whatever is not permitted to germinate in your life.
If you need the wisdom of God, rare an altar of wisdom by seeking knoweldge, wisdom and understading. For the natural man, it is all about memory, intellect and imagination, but for the spiritually alive, it is the spirit of knowedge, spirit of wisdom and spirit of understandinmg.
- 1 Corinthians 1:24—To those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
- 1
Corinthians 1:30—You are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom
from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.
- Colossians
2:3—In [Jesus] are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and
knowledge.
- Luke 11:49—Therefore the wisdom of God (referring to Jesus) said, “I will send them prophets and apostles, and some of them they will kill and persecute.”
11 And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots:
2 And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord;
3 And shall make him of quick understanding in the fear of the Lord: and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears: Isaiah 11:1-3
As you rare an altar of power and wisdom, get set for the manifestation of the seven spirits of God . It would take over your spirit man (Spirit of the Lord), take over your Intellect (Spirit of wisdom), Take over your Imagination (Spirit of Understanding), take over your Will (Spirit of Counsel), take over your Body (Spirit of might), Take over your memory (Spirit of Knowledge) and Take over your Emotion (Spirit of the fear of the Lord).
By the baptism of the Holy Ghost, it would grant you quick understanding in the fear of God (Emotional Inteligence) for Spiritual sensitivity.
For deeper insights into Gods word Pray, Prepare and plan to attend ACCELERATE GLOBAL IMPACT SUMMIT 2023 - Details coming soon.
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Knowledge for impact and explouts
Micah 4:1-2, Psalm 81:1-4
The fear of God is a distinguishing factor in mem
.
Continuously study the word of god.
Daniel 9:2
Every spiritual gift feeds on the word.
To tap into what is available in the anointed, there is a need for a from craving.
Crave for more of God's wisdom, presence and power..
Knowledge is a life long school
.
To leave something behind something that every generation would require that you drom something in every
Proverbs 8:15
Wisdom makes the face of it's carries to shine. They are never down cast. Always on the move
Proverbs 17:22
A "surgery" gift not stired would always remain tasteless.
Be excited at making finding. The more excited on finding a thing, tbe faser the fojdokf..
If you are things motivated, you will not go fat. Be genuinely committed. Face your job...
You don't have to come with everything to gain everything...
Do not crave a well-done, just get the job done.
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